Good morning! For those unfamiliar with our newsletter, last week I shared with 18K that a bat essentially took me to the point of peeing my pants.
How do you follow that up?
Well, you regroup, you ‘Man Up’ and finally go cut down that dead pine tree in your backyard.
What do you do when your wife tells you she is “concerned” to let you use a chainsaw that “real men” use?
Well, you get in your beat-up Jeep and head to the track to rip off some 400’s.
What do you do when your
toenails hurt bad enough to make you pull up short of the second turn?
Well, you head back home, throw on your leather coat, and go grab the guitar you bought on sale at CostCo in 2009 and haven’t seen since.
“Careful in the attic, Dave. I don’t have to remind you who lives up there, do I?”
I can’t go up there.
Okay, that’s it. THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT!
I text 3 friends and see who wants to drop down a state into Bourbon Country – today.
Group text summary: Yes. Yes. Yes. Are you serious Sabs? Today? YES – now. Let’s go. No emoticons were used (OK maybe one bourbon glass) – but, just 4 guys (one of them a DD) in a beat-up Jeep dropping everything. Man Up – accomplished.
Car ride.
Yes and no. We always have to look for conflict of interest in the authors – even in reputable journals. Unfortunately, there is a more of that in medicine than I like to see.
Conversation shifted.
We talked about guns (I’m not allowed), Ohio State Basketball and the Super Bowl (well-versed in both, but admittedly troubled by the big hits in the latter); motorcycles (not allowed); movies – 12 Strong (all but me had seen) and Greatest Showman (I was the only one who had seen – great movie).
We made one stop, Speedway, and I did step out of the car (hate DVTs) to stretch but Scott was taking orders.
Safely out of Columbus, “Barbequed Pork Rinds and Jalapeno Buffalo Jerky” I shouted across the parking lot.
Later handing them over, Scott shared, “That’s hilarious, I’ve never seen a cardiologist eat pork rinds and beef jerky”. He won’t see this one eat them either. #justprops.
We toured 3 distilleries in 20 degree Kentucky weather and it was a blast. The fourth one was
Willett. They have a really cool bottle that you can only buy at their place, a major reason we drove 4 hours. With the Bourbon Boom, there are several new buildings at Willett, and their signage is not yet complete. I was eager to get this bottle and went to the building I felt most likely to have them; I was wrong. Just like the 1600’s, I entered those dungeon doors and they closed shut behind with a cacophony of locks, metal and wood crashing together.
This was not the gift shop; the gift shop is where my buddies were.
This place was cavernous and eerily quiet. I quickly walked through the whole place – not a soul around. All side doors locked. Wouldn’t it suck to get stuck in here? Hah! it’s 2018 and I laugh it off as I start tugging on handles and locks.
This is our last stop so must be closing time.
Is it cold in here?
Why did I leave my coat (and phone) in the car?
Gather yourself. Try the front doors again – they MUST open. How could they NOT open!
Oh, there’s a cast metal post locking the opposite door into the ground. It won’t budge!
It. Won’t. Budge!
No windows! NO WINDOWS?!
TUGGING ON HANDLES AND LOCKS!
I had no other option, I was left with the last resort.
So hard to do this coolly…
I scream out “I’m stuck in the dungeon!” nothing
Very hard to yell coolly the second time. “I’M STUCK IN THE DUNGEON!” still nothing
I’m going to freeze to death in a popular bourbon distillery on Feb 3rd, 2018.
Equivalent would be drowning in a glass of water.
At least my friends are still in the gift shop, I just need to let it go…
Pounding both fists repeatedly on the door and kicking with my right foot
“GET ME OUT OF THIS DUNGEON! I DON’T WANT TO DIE IN THE PIT OF MISERY! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!!”
If they weren’t going to hear this – they were never going to hear me.
At that point, exhausted, I collapse, my back resting on the doors.
Finally, finally, I’m rewarded with signs of life coming from outside,
“Hey Mike, did you hear that?” Whew!
“Go inside and ask Pete for the keys. Sounds like some woman locked herself in the dungeon”.
Out I walk to see my friends coming out of the gift shop. The only thing they heard, “Some woman locked herself in the dungeon.”
The 4 hour and 3 minute ride home was fun.
