Good morning! (Okay, sorry but sshhhh! This morning we want to start your day with a joke on an office mate before they head off to some exotic locale for Winter Break. Just make sure you delete this opening statement so the joke stays between us – sshhhh! good luck!….)
Good morning! So, how was your week? Mine was great! Many of you know Skype sold their concept to Microsoft back in 2011 for $8.6 billion dollars. Crazy money, right? That payoff inspired me to spend the last 7 years on my computer developing a program called Skip (trademark pending).
With Skip, I am able to encrypt emails, including the one you are currently reading, with interactive capacities. There is no video, however, there is an active 33% auditory capability (hope to be at 80% by start of 2019).
What does 33% auditory capacity mean? Good question.
With Skip, I am actually able to hear everything you say while reading this e-mail. You just have to say it 3x louder than your normal voice. With your permission, this email actually permits you to be a Beta Tester. If you don’t mind, let’s give it a try. Oh my gosh, 7 years and here goes nothing!
Can you believe this cold weather? (OK, you talk now…remember talk loud)
(listening…listening…listening…)
Oh my gosh, I couldn’t have said it better myself – I totally agree.
How are your kids doing?
(listening…listening…listening…)
That’s cool. I’m really glad to hear that. I can’t believe how big they’re getting!
What are your thoughts on this Brexit chaos? (listening…listening…)
Oh my gosh, I was thinking the exact same thing. This nightly news reports are CRAZY! And all the laxative commercials, I’ve just about had it with those.
Speaking of those commercials, just curious, are your bowels regular?
(listening…listening…listening…)
I’m sorry. I’m actually having a lot of trouble hearing you – new program and all. If you don’t mind, could you do me a quick favor. Please make sure your office door is open, double your volume and speak directly into the computer keeping your face 4 inches or less from the monitor.
(listening…listening…listening…)
Ugh, I’m so sorry. I could only make out a few words that time. I’d let it go, but as a doctor it’s very important that I know.
Let’s do a quick test. This time, try and pull from your diaphragm. Just pretend like you are on stage and people in the back row need to hear you. Please use this line as a sample:
“YES DAVID! MY BOWELS ARE REGULAR!!”
(listening…listening…listening…)
Perfect! That did it.
Thank you for Beta-Testing Skip. We will keep you posted with all the developments in our proposal to Microsoft.
(heeeheeeheee – please delete this part too)
