Good morning!

How’s your week going? Hopefully well!

This past Sunday, during dinner, there was a pregnant pause, and I finally gathered the nerve to speak.

“Honey…” (voice cracking) “Honey…guess what tomorrow morning is?”

Krissy momentarily looked out of the corners of her eyes in thought.

“David, no! We are not…No. Just no.”

She rapidly changes the subject, looking down at our poodles.

“Phoebe, sweetie. How was your walk with Daddy? Henry, are you a good boy?!”

“Krissy, come on! Please. You know how important this is to me and WWAD. We have a social responsibility to share the importance of Honeycrisp apples.”

“David, stop. You do not. Do you remember what happened last year?! We are not going tomorrow.”

She pats Phoebe on the head and gets up from the table.

Walking away, she says, “David, tell you what. I’ve got a copy of last year’s WWAD Newsletter in the drawer. Sit down. I want to read it to you. Maybe after you hear this, you’ll understand why we’re not going tomorrow.”

And she began to read…

___________________________________________________

Are you familiar with the phenomenon of Near-Death Experiences (NDEs)?

I had one last Friday.

You’ve heard of, or read, Proof of Heaven by the neurosurgeon?

Same thing.

Last Friday started like any other. I had scheduled the day off to go apple picking with my wife. For years, I had heard of (and missed) the circus surrounding the Annual U-Pick Honeycrisp Day at our local fruit farm.

I determined on New Year’s Day 2025 that, in 224 days, August 10, 2025, I needed to experience it firsthand.

You see, all the other ‘normal’ varieties hang around for weeks. Due to obscene demand, Honeycrisp are lucky to even survive the day. They run out earlier and earlier every year.

It’s not only that they’re absurdly delicious. Apples are the Michael Jordan of health foods.

Well, the day arrived.

With The Picking Hours scheduled to commence Monday at 9:00 a.m. EST, we headed out for the 2025 Grand Opening. I was dressed in jean overalls with red bandanas sticking out of every pocket, a straw hat, and a corncob pipe (just a prop). I looked fine.

The 25-minute drive was filled with giddy, inspired discussion. Most disturbingly, about a half-mile from the entrance, traffic slowed to a halt.

For those unfamiliar with Pataskala, Ohio, this was most unusual.

Krissy kept trying to talk me down as our Jeep Wrangler inched toward the GateKeeper. There were literally hundreds of cars in front of us.

Finally, after an agonizing delay, it was now our turn.

The GateKeeper stood there smiling, with large white plastic bags in her right hand and small tan plastic bags in her left.

My eyes were LOCKED on that right hand.

As I rolled down the driver’s-side window, a burst of involuntary nervous laughter escaped me. I was trained on every movement this woman was making.

She was visibly impressed with all my bandanas.

At this point, the car radio read 9:32, and I’m guessing 200–300 cars had already parked.

“Good morning, would you like—”

“THE WHITE ONES. THE BIG ONES.”

I quickly wiped the right corner of my mouth.

“WE WANT THE BIG ONES!!”

Pressing herself against the passenger-seat door, Krissy had buried her head between her legs. I think all the excitement was making her lightheaded.

The GateKeeper handed me multiple white bags.

“Go ahead and turn left at that next row, then go all the way down. If there are any Honeycrisp left, they’ll be in the aisles with a red ribbon.”

That was the last thing I remember.

___________________________________________________________

When I awoke, it was as if I had been transported to another world.

The only way to describe it was that I felt as if I were floating through a plush landscape. I had never come close to feeling anything remotely like this.

Am I in heaven?

I think I’m in heaven!

The ground was a thick and velvety green beneath my bare feet. I was surrounded by gorgeous trees crammed with luscious fruit as far as the eye could see. The softest air carried the sweetest melodies of the prettiest songbirds you’d ever heard.

Had I landed in the Garden of Eden?

I rubbed my eyes. I had just been blinded by a magnificent light.

Picture the brightest light you’ve ever seen and multiply it by 100.

The greens were so green. The apples so red, so large, so plump, so beautiful.

The vibrancy of the colors brought me to my knees as I fought to hold back the tears.

Where was I?!

I so wished Krissy could be there to experience this with me. Yet, I was overcome with a strange sense of security. While she wasn’t with me, it was as if I knew she was safe.

It was almost as if I could hear voices, including hers, very distant in the background…

“I’m so sorry about this, officer. I’ve never seen him like this.”

I continued to hover over this utopian landscape.

Yes, indeed. This was heaven.

Picture the sweetest, juiciest apple you’ve ever had and multiply it by 1,000. That wouldn’t even begin to describe what I was tasting.

There were the voices again.

“No problem, ma’am. He should be fine. I think he just hyperventilated. I put the flashlight right up in his eyes and his pupils are equal and reactive. He popped right up and started running in zigzags all on his own.”

As I wandered through heaven amidst the abundance, I captured as many apples as I could. They protruded from my pockets, spilled out of my overalls, and I was somehow able to get two in my mouth at the same time.

“Should we stop him for you, ma’am? He keeps bumping into the trees.”

One couldn’t help but notice the cutest little angels. They were everywhere!

All of them were looking at me, pointing and giggling.

The big angels holding their hands were trying to get them to look away in other directions.

Then, far off in the distance, it was almost as if I could hear Krissy’s voice easing my transition.

“No, I’d let him go. He’s in his happy place.”

Then came a loud crack and an excruciating headache.

Everything began spinning at 100 mph.

I now lay on the ground staring up at Krissy and a bunch of paramedics huddled around her. Two of the larger paramedics were looking away, their faces beet red, covering their mouths, their eyes full of tears.

As a cardiologist, I’d rarely seen EMS get emotional, even in code situations.

I must have been in pretty bad shape.

My head was throbbing, yet Kristin’s beauty was so comforting as she hovered over me.

“Honey!!!” My speech rushed. I grabbed for her sweatshirt. “You’re never in a million years going to believe where I’ve been!”

She smacked my hands away, then quickly wiped her own hands on the ground.

From my fingertips to my shoulders, I was covered in dried, sticky apple juice.

She cupped my face in her hands, pulling my head off the thick, wet grass.

“David, this is ridiculous! Get a hold of yourself!!! You’ve been wandering around this place like a crazy person and now you just ran into a ladder! I’m taking you home.”

We found our way to the car and I steadied against the doorframe as I pulled myself up into the Jeep’s passenger seat.

As we headed home, I was staring into the passenger-side mirror, watching the orchard get farther and farther away.

I was overcome with emotion, reflecting on how fortunate I was.

I had always heard about NDEs, but never, EVER thought I would experience one firsthand.

___________________________________________________________

Fast forward to this past Sunday.

She put the newsletter away and looked at me mostly from her right eye, squinting her left, with a quarter-smirk as she waited for me to respond.

It was hard. I was watching my favorite day go up in smoke.

“Okay, sweetheart. You may have a point.”

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

David

Disclaimer: Most of this was a joke.