Good morning!

First, for the many of you in significant heat, please be careful.

Now on with the absurdity…

Early this May, a 43 y/o man came to his office visit, super stressed out. I had seen him a few times over the past 5 or so years and all his echos, stress tests, CT calcium score, and Holters have returned normal. He’s still unnerved.

“Larry, the way you describe your symptoms and with all the negative tests, I’m confident this is not your heart.”

“I know, but I just can’t calm down and my PCP is out of town. I need to talk to somebody. I’M FREAKING OUT!”

“Okay, please don’t yell. You’ll scare Megan (my teammate).”

She smirks without looking up from her computer.

I grab a napkin from the desk (because cardiology offices are filled with napkins).

“All right, Larry. You didn’t hear this from me, but this is what I’d like you to try.”

5 minutes later the napkin is not terribly smudged up with blue ink and he’s on his way. 

Hopefully, for this guy, he’ll never have to see me again.

Late last week, Megan popped in while I was reviewing charts on my treadmill desk. 

“Larry wants to come in and see you again.”

I almost trip off the thing. Oh my gosh, poor Larry.

“I told him it was non-cardiac, but he says he needs to talk so I put him in at 5:15.”

Later that day…

“So Doc, I did everything you said. I’ve been feeling a little lightheaded so I checked my blood pressure. It was 34/doppler. Wondering if I can stop the amlodipine?”

I can’t help but notice his new longer hair and Birkenstocks. He’s smiling.

“How do you know what ‘doppler’ means?”

“This is just another one of your stupid newsletters, right?”

“That’s fair”

“Please go ahead, Larry. How’s the stress reduction going? No marijuana, correct?”

“Won’t touch the stuff. Here’s the template of my normal day. I wrote it down”

6:00 Wake-up. I get 7-9 hours of sleep just like you said. After 2 nights, I could already feel that it helped. Better cortisol levels from what I read.”

6:05-6:30 I walk or jog outside with Franz Fur-dinand (Editor’s Note: Check out this report!)

“You named your dog, Franz Fur-dinand?”

He stared at me for a few seconds then looked down at the paper again.

6:30-6:50 Shower

“You take long showers, Larry.”

He stares again. 

I better just shut up and listen.

6:50-7:00 Meditate

7:00-7:20 Journal

He looks up. “Also Doc, I stopped watching CNN and my wife stopped watching Fox. I think that helps too.”

7:25-7:50 Drive to work. During my commute, I think of three things I’m grateful for.

8:00-5:00 Work. You were right. It is amazing how simple breathing exercises can make a big difference.

12:00-12:30 Lunch. I eat outside and it just feels good to sit in nature and chill. “If no one is out there, I do a little coloring while I eat. Don’t tell anybody, okay?”

“This is a doctor’s visit, Larry. I can’t share anything because of HIPAA.”

5:00-5:25 Music on the ride home. “I just listen to music, sweet music.”

5:30-6:30 Dinner with my wife and family (and maybe friends)

6:30-8:00 I have a glass of water and I will knit with my wife as she diffuses lavender essential oils 

“Larry. You took this seriously, didn’t you?”

He keeps staring at me.

He is taking this seriously.

8:00-9:30 We watch Bob on Netflix under our new weighted blanket. (Editor’s Note: I just ordered one of these)

That’s it. I get my 8-8.5 hours and start all over again tomorrow.

“Now that I’m super chill – look at me,” he smiles. “My BP is dropping, man.”

“Larry, yes you can stop the amlodipine. It’s good to see you so calm, my friend. I think it’s helping your blood pressure along with your anxiety”

“Oh yeah, one more thing. On Saturdays, I volunteer at a local charity, Walk with a Doc. Have you heard of it?

“Walk with a what?”

“You really should get out more, doc”

david

Disclaimer: Larry is not his real name