Good morning!

Every once in a while, this dog-eat-dog business required you to take a flyer.

(The walking business is dog-eat-dog?)

With intense heat pouring in from Physicians On Foot, Medical Meanderers, and others (David, why did you make these up?), we had to kick it up a notch or two.

Under pressure, our WWAD board assembled emergently on May 10th.

In that secured room, we all agreed to pilot a WWAD at the most infamous place on Planet Earth…

The Island of Alcatraz, 1.2 miles off the coast of San Francisco, amidst man-eating-shark-infested waters.

For those unaware, Alcatraz once served as a federal prison for some of the country’s most notorious criminals—individuals deemed too dangerous or high-profile for regular facilities. Back in the 1930s, the government created a maximum-security prison surrounded by treacherous waters.

(David, are you aware that the prison was closed in 1963? Alcatraz has been a tourist destination for decades.) Not for long, Ms. Narrator.

These days, Al Capone, the “Birdman” Robert Stroud, and Clint Eastwood are just a few of society’s threats that call ‘The Rock’ home. (Those of us more familiar with Alcatraz call it “The Rock.”)

As I shared with the board (all of whom dissented), what better place to highlight Walk with a Doc’s boldness?

I arrived a week ahead of time and spent 14-hour days canvassing the hilly streets of San Francisco. I did everything in my power, on heavily-blistered feet, to inspire this incredible city. Posters, fliers, banners, cards, etc.

We billed this (David, you cannot say “we”—no one agreed with you on this) as WDW – the World’s Deadliest Walk!

I didn’t get much sleep Tuesday night. I had heard Mahomes and Brady talk about this same feeling before the Super Bowl. I was in good company.

I loaded my iPhone with New Age classics early Wednesday morning to calm my brittle nerves. I knew I’d need a little Autumn (Remastered) as I headed down Fisherman’s Wharf to Pier 33, our designated meeting point.

The seas were angry that day. I had to be at my best to calm the hundreds I believed would follow me on this harrowing journey.

I waited under the WWAD-WDW sign for 90 minutes with nary a soul willing to commit.

Had we bitten off too much?

How could we ask San Franciscans to risk their lives to save their lives?

My head was jammed with doubt.

(David, again, you cannot use “our” or “we” in this newsletter.)

The hour had arrived.

No one was standing under my sign but me.

I was coming to terms with boarding the vessel solo.

But then, as I turned the corner, to my overwhelming surprise, my shoestring marketing plan had worked!

There were hundreds, maybe thousands, coming to Walk with a Doc!!

Act like you’ve been there, David.

Act like you’ve been there.

As I reached the front and prepared to embark, security confiscated my dinner knife, water rifle, and slingshot (all purchased the previous day at the Spy Store).

I was now going in ‘naked’. That’s what those of us in public safety call going into a hostile situation unarmed.

(Is it?)

The watercraft was all astir. Many attendees used their selfie sticks to capture what they were about to undertake.

Twenty minutes later, we arrived at “The Rock,” and my fellow WWAD’ers were eager to go.

I disembarked and took several deep breaths.

It was now, Go Time!

The National Park Service had read my posters as well. Alcatraz was crawling with NPS staff. They must also have known that 20 to 30 minutes of walking a day prevents and treats heart disease, cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, and 40 other diseases you don’t want.

People are funny. Many who had boarded the boat for WWAD–Alcatraz now became timid. They stayed to listen to the volunteers, watch the movie, or look at the gardens.

The brave followed me into the Cell Block. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I puked my guts out crossing the threshold.

That’s alright. So did Bradshaw, Manning, and Hurts before their Super Bowls.

(David, is this true? Are you trying to associate yourself with those braver than yourself?)

I was now entering the World’s Most Challenging Building.

I roamed down “Broadway,” “Michigan Avenue,” and “D-Block” (what laypeople might call aisles), and one thing became clear: the prisoners were on holiday.

This was surprising for a Wednesday.

While there was an immense rush of relief, I knew I couldn’t let my guard down. History had shown that countless prison riots and escape attempts had occurred here.

Another could break out at any time.

As a matter of fact, if you listened ever so closely, you could hear the walls telling their story.

(David, you were likely on an audio tour that was telling “their story”)

I walked down the middle of Broadway with my hands out of my pockets.

‘Jack’ and ‘Johnson’ were the only weapons I had.

Long story short (too late, David), the inaugural WWAD: The Rock went off with nary a hitch.

On the ferry ride back, I sat with my head in my hands, joyous tears streaming down my cheeks.

Take that, Physicians On Foot!

Maybe that’ll teach you to play with the big dogs.

Disclaimer: This newsletter is entirely fictional and intended for entertainment and inspiration only. Some names, events, and heroic embellishments may have been exaggerated for dramatic effect. No actual danger, criminal encounters, or man-eating sharks were involved in the making of this walk. We don’t have a Walk with a Doc program on Alcatraz, but we’ve them in 600+ other locations around the world. Please walk responsibly.