Good morning! I hope this beautiful Friday morning finds you well.
We received a call last Sunday a.m. that our team felt we should share with the group.
I was in WWAD World HQ, dusting off a few of Rachael’s awards when the office phone rang.
6:56 Sunday a.m.??
The caller ID read ‘Past‘.
I cautiously picked up the receiver, a gut feeling telling me this was going to be interesting.
I was met with heavy static, akin to a black-and-white TV on the wrong channel. Through the cacophony on the other end came a booming, dominant voice that I made out as Spanish. Its echo shook the phone out of my hand.
“Tienes algo que me pertenece!” (“You have something of mine!”)
Picking the phone off the desk gave me enough time to gather myself.
“I’m sorry, sir. You have the wrong guy.” I went to hang up but heard yelling as I pulled the handset from my ear.
If I didn’t know better, I could’ve sworn he next said, “Are you the doctor that likes to walk?”
His Spanish accent was the thickest I’d ever heard making me question if I’d understood him correctly.
Let’s go with it – it’s just a newsletter.
“Actually, there are quite a few doctors that like to walk. But, maybe you do mean me”
There was a prolonged pause.
I could feel his intense irritation coming through the phone, even during the pause.
It was visceral.
He slowly began, thankfully, the static dying down.
“King Ferdinand, himself, placed me in the direct command of 200 sailors. We mounted a northern expedition from Puerto Rico across shark-infested waters to northern islands. It is here, after losing dozens of my men, where I…myself...DISCOVERED THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH!”
He continued, “With no due respect, Dr. Walkman…I am a CONQUISTADOR ordained by the Country of Spain and I do NOT have the WRONG person!!”
The phone again drops to the desk.
How does he do that?!
“Mr. David, when I was encountering difficulties locating my Fountain, my concerned sailors directed me to this program based in the United States. A program that has made multiple claims to having discovered my Fountain of Youth. I have now had to waste centuries of my life reviewing these stupid, STUPID newsletters! (you’re not the only one, Ponce).
Now worked up to a fervor; he had to pause.
“You have made a total of 11 claims to something that ALL the history books rightfully declare to be mine! I am coming back (from the 16th century I guess) to claim what belongs to me and the Mother country of Spain!”
Now it all made sense.
It indeed was Juan Ponce de Leon who was on the phone.
Cool.
“Look, Ponce. Exercise is the true Fountain of Youth and it belongs to all of us. We just need to get out our front door and head down the block to ‘drink’ from it.”
This man loved pauses.
“Are you telling me…are you telling me…that I’ve spent my entire existence living with men who hadn’t showered for months, risking my own death as well as my sailors’ lives, fighting off scurvy, flirting with syphilis, and eating rabbit that had gone bad months ago, when all I had to do was walk out my front door?
“Do you know of the smells emanating from a man who has not showered for 8 months?
Any idea?
It’ll make your eyes water, Doc!”
He took a little time to gather himself, however, I no longer found myself on the defense.
If not incorrect, I sensed a hint of acceptance.
“When’s the next walk?”
“I’m glad you asked, Ponce. They are going on all the time. Just visit our website and you should find one close to you. If you can’t, give us a call and we’ll be more than happy to do what we can.”
“But my Fountain of Youth – it cures cancer, heart disease, anxiety, depression, arthritis and makes you so happy. Your walking – it does this as well?” he asks, still in some disbelief.
“Sure does, Ponce. All of that, and more.”
“Thank you for the call and we hope to see you on Saturday.
Oh yeah, nice hat.”
david
Disclaimer:
This call was fictional.
This newsletter was written by Dr. David Sabgir and the team at Walk with a Doc headquarters and does not necessarily represent the views of our local WWAD chapter leaders.