Walk with a Doc Newsletter
Good morning! Wow, you are a bit early today! I haven’t even finished brushing my teeth yet. Please hold for, just, a, second. There…ahhh.. How are you this week?
Hopefully as good as we are.
I LOVE the Walk!
I’ll get right to it, we’ve recently had some guests growing increasingly uncomfortable having zombies welcomed at their walk (currently in only one location – Alexandria, VA).
I’m a little biased, as I dated a zombie for the first few months of 8th grade (my parents were NOThappy).
Point being, I grew up with it.
it was the only thing I knew
There were zombies on my soccer team, in my friend group, on my paper route – all over.
While there are clearly opponents, many of our more ‘open’ guests have done a nice job of pointing out the upsides of welcoming the deceased.
- The zombies are primarily flesh-eating (i.e. they won’t be hogging all the apples, bananas, and granola bars)
- Having the living dead as guests allows us to utilize a lot of premed students; it’s a good way to get their feet wet without exposing significant risk. How could they hurt them?
- To be fully transparent, the zombies are lower maintenance – we don’t need to check their blood pressures (they don’t have one). This allows us to save considerably on the cost of blood pressure cuffs. If we were to multiply this by 512 sites, well, you can imagine.
Sure, there are some cons:
Our Alexandria physician leaders have expressed difficulty understanding their questions – saying that many of the zombies will just all talk at once. That would be okay, and not to group them as one, but most of the time it’s a low-pitched indecipherable groaning that drowns out other questions.
They also don’t necessarily walk in the same direction. To put it bluntly, a lot of them just wander around the park aimlessly.
We don’t know why the highest density of zombies is so close to the District, but we believe it’s correlated to extreme density of US Congressmen with homes in the area – BA DUM tss!
No, seriously folks, in regards to having so many zombies together, there have been appropriate concerns raised by the Arlington County Division of Safety (MCDS).
They fear a zombie apocalypse.
We understand and that’s fair, but there’s an education process here. The odds of that going down are EXTREMELY unlikely. We concede that if it did, they are correct, this would not be good.
It might potentially lead to a global breakdown of society that could in turn cause a massive rise of zombies that would engage in a general assault on civilization.
So to be honest, I see their point. But again, very unlikely.
The MCDS also makes another valid argument. As a whole, they (zombies) would not be deriving all the same health benefits as most of our other guests (they’re already undead).
So we will admit, it’s not all milk and cookies.
Finally, if you do happen to go to the Alexandria walk we would like you to exhibit caution.
I endured a minor zombie bite (left shoulder) on a site visit to WWAD – Alexandria in late 2011.
For the ensuing 5 and a half days I had an insatiable craving for caraway seeds; I could not stop listening to Tears for Fears, and I refused to wear anything that wasn’t orange.
Now I’m better, but to this day we’ve never figured out why.
I’m sorry, what was I talking about again?
oh yeah, shhh….
anyone interested in a position (at wwad
) in business development?
development experience not a must
preferably based out of columbus or baltimore/d.c. area
must be able to put up with newsletters