| Good morning! How’s your week wrapping up?I can’t wait to tell you about this cardiology office visit – crazy!!Last Monday I’m all excited because I’ve got Michael Hunter scheduled for 8:45. It’s a routine yearly follow-up, but Megan told me he had a lot to share.Knock, knock.“My goodness, you look great! No, COVID 19 pounds for you.We are now allowing the patient’s family back into the room and Connie, Michael’s wife is next to him. I’d only seen her twice over the years, but I swear she also looks younger.”Dr. Dave, it’s all non-cardiac stuff but it started pretty soon after I left your office last year. I’ve just about told everyone else, so I might as well tell you. “You know how you’ve been on me for years to get active and lose 5-10% of my weight?”To set the stage, Michael had, in his own words, “let himself go” over the last 6-8 years.I shared with him numerous times that I was worried about his course.He sits in the room now, 53 years old, 5’8″, and 235 lbs (267 in July ’20).”Shortly after our last visit,” he looks over at Connie, “Was it a month?””Three and a half weeks,” she said nodding.”Anyway, I started noticing things. Weird things.” he resumed. “Like what?!” I was on the edge of my seat, anticipating a really good story (Hopefully, it was better than this one, David).”You know how I’ve taken 2-3 ibuprofen a day for years?””Sure, your trick knee from playing ball at Swarthmore. We’d been talking about you trying to cut back (better for the ticker)””Someday last September, I realized I hadn’t taken an Advil in months.””Anyway, I hadn’t told you, but I’ve been sneaking cigarettes for years. Anything stressful came up and I’m out in the garage”Connie looks at us, “Every day” she says.”Now I haven’t smoked for 8 and a half months,” he leans over to give me a high-five.His hand is dirty, but he’s double vaxxed and there’s Purell, so.”Then on September 30th, we get back from our walk. The wife and I started taking the dog for a walk for 20-30 minutes after dinner. Sometimes, we go 45-60 minutes. Kind of like that silly Walk with a Dog thing you do,” he chortles. “Now Michael, that’s not nice,” she jumps in..”Well we get back from our walk and the clock reads 5:25. The darn clock reads 5:25!”I look over at Connie, confused.”We always, always start dinner at 5:30,” she shares.”I’m staring at the kitchen clock and the one in the den and the DANG THINGS ARE MOVIN’ BACKWARDS!”She adds, “We’ve literally had three different repairmen out. None of them can stop these clocks from moving backward.””Then, catch this…A couple of months ago I went to see Dr. Igo, my family doc. She walks into the room holding my chart, all silent-like, squintin’ at me. She didn’t say nothin’!””Scared us to death,” shared Connie.”Scared me to DEATH. She said my hemoglobin A1C (measurement to assess diabetic control), my LDL, and my blood pressure have all totally normalized. She said it’s as if I’d overtaken someone else’s body.””Like a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE?!!” I blurted out. Awkward pause.”No, I don’t think so Dave.” “Anyway, she said in 31 years of practicing medicine, she ain’t never seen anything close to it. Then, this is where it gets really weird””A couple of months ago some neighbor friends threw me a surprise party. The cake said Happy 43rd Michael in big, bold blue icing.”My favorite flavor.Connie jumped in, “They were all at his 50th in 2018! They all know his age.””When I tried to correct them, they just laughed at me. Then Billy, the shy sandy-haired kid down the street grabs my arm, pulls it down, and whispers, “Keep this up and next year you’ll be 42.”Dr. Dave, I tell you what. Sure as shootin’, he meant it.””Keep what up?” I asked.”Huh? Oh, the boy. As I said, I have no idea what’s going on. We’ve gone over it a million times. The only thing we did differently, the ONLY thing (his right index finger raised to emphasize importance) is take Muffin Cakes on a walk after dinner.” I’m looking at this guy and the dude looks young!”So, Doc. Whaddya think about them apples? Pretty friggin’ weird, huh?””What do I think?”You started out by saying it’s non-cardiac. You bet it’s cardiac! Little muffie cakes is sav…””Doc!” he interrupts, “it’s Muff-IN Cakes. Muff-IN Cakes.””Muff-in Cakes saved your life. That’s why we do Walk with a Doc – it’s the cure.””But, doc – clocks spinning backward?”Our office clock now reads 8:22. We entered the room at 8:43.”Did you think doctors are kidding when they say it’s the Fountain of Youth?” I share.Michael shakes his head, smiles, and says,”Well, doc, Megan – Connie and I say thanks. I feel like a million bucks.”We all look over at Megan, who’s sitting on our beige leather swivel stool in the exam room corner. Normally she’d be transcribing, but here she sits, legs crossed at the ankles, looking to the sky, and eating a purple carrot.”MEGAN?!!”In one continuous motion, she stands, puts down the carrot, reaches into her white lab coat, and pulls out a Milk-Bone, flipping it perfectly to Connie.”Don’t thank us; thank Muffin Cakes,” she shares as she slips out of the room.Megan’s cool like that. |
